Everyone needs to read it! These items are shipped from and sold by different sellers. Maggie and Victor, a couple in their mid-fifties who were contemplating divorce after twenty-nine years of marriage, told me this story: “We met in graduate school,” Maggie recalled. A third idea, the “persona” theory, adds yet another dimension to the phenomenon of romantic attraction.2 The persona theory maintains that an important factor in mate selection is the way a potential suitor enhances our self-esteem. “We were together every possible moment for the next two months, and then we eloped.”, “If those had been more sexually liberated times,” added Maggie, “I’m sure we would have been lovers from that very first week. Reviewed in the United States on December 9, 2017. Getting the Love You Want is a relationship advice book that focuses on how childhood wounds influence our relationships. And why, as in the case of Rayna and Mark, do so many couples seem to have opposite personality traits? If you're a seller, Fulfillment by Amazon can help you grow your business. The era of love. My wife and I have been struggling in our marriage for years and no matter what I do (or she does), we always seem to fall back on the same old patterns of behavior that don't seem to work. In fact, the more deeply we look at the phenomenon of romantic attraction, the more incomplete these theories appear to be. Imago Higher Education at Daybreak University. The feelings were so strong that I felt faint and had to sit down.”, Once Maggie recovered from shock, she introduced herself to Victor, and the two of them spent half the morning talking. If your partner is an emotionally healthy, logical, sane person, like most of the population, though, this book will be a tremendous resource for you. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition. I loved this book so much I bought the workbook later and we started to work on it as a couple. When we are on a search-and-find mission for a partner, we size each other up as coolly as business executives contemplating a merger, noting each other’s physical appeal, financial status, and social rank, as well as various personality traits such as kindness, creativity, and a sense of humor. With the friend’s urging, Mark invited Rayna to the movies. One client said to me as his girlfriend was leaving him: “I can’t sleep or eat. Shipping cost, delivery date, and order total (including tax) shown at checkout. Good Days Start With Gratitude: A 52 Week Guide To Cultivate An Attitude Of Gratitu... To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. It’s not just youth, beauty, and social rank that interests us, say the social psychologists, but the whole person. Reviewed in the United States on April 3, 2017. Harville Hendrix has been working as a relationship therapist over the last thirty years. In Getting the Love You Want, Dr. Harville Hendrix presents the relationship skills that have already helped hundreds of thousands of couples to replace confrontation and criticism with a healing process of mutual growth and support. As a matter of fact, I have lent copies to friends and have had to replace the copy for myself. Between reading this and seeking out imago therapy I have never been happier in a relationship. It will even help you see what went wrong in your past relationships and increase your own self-awareness. Unraveling the Mystery of Romantic Attraction. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled“Getting the Love You Want is a remarkable book--the most incisive and persuasive I have ever read on the knotty problems of marriage relationships.” ―Ann Roberts, former president, Rockefeller Family Fund“Getting the Love You Want provides a road map for partners seeking a path to intimacy and passionate friendship.” ―Marion Solomon, Ph.D.“This book will help any couple find the love they want hidden under all the concealing confusion of a close and intimate relationship. Getting the Love You Want with Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. Whether we like it or not, a woman’s youth and physical appearance and a man’s power and social status do play a role in mate selection, as a quick scan of the personal messages in the classified ads will attest: “Successful forty-five-year-old S.W.M. You are in a difficult relationship and want to resolve long-standing conflicts. Insight is great but change is better, I read that somewhere today. Harville and Helen have six children and live in New York and New Mexico. Or get 4-5 business-day shipping on this item for $5.99 Logically, you should have fallen in love with scores of people. When we narrow this field by applying the social-exchange theory, we might come up with fifty or a hundred people out of this select group who would have a combined “point value” equal to or greater than yours. . Dr. Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt explain how to revive romance and remove negativity from daily interactions, to help you: But even though biological factors play a key role in our amorous advances, there’s got to be more to love than this. The era of love 2. Discover insights that help couples improve communication, increase mutual understanding, and reromanticize their relationship. The persona theory suggests that we select a mate who will enhance this self-image. My legs wanted to carry me to him, but my head was telling me to stay away. Getting the Love You Want, by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt partners in life and work. “Getting the Love You Want provides a road map for partners seeking a path to intimacy and passionate friendship.” ― Marion Solomon, Ph.D. “This book will help any couple find the love they want hidden under all the concealing confusion of a close and intimate relationship. As they trained other therapists how to save marriages, they started to lose hope that their own relationship would survive. There is another puzzling aspect of romantic attraction: we seem to have much more discriminating tastes than any of these theories would indicate. I have seen these principles in application and they work!” ―James A. … Harville Hendrix, Ph.D, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D Read More » That was the beginning of their courtship, but it was never a torrid romance. When couples come to me for relationship therapy, I usually ask them how they met. 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